A few evenings ago, while walking through our local grocery store, hoping to find something exciting and easy for dinner, I was treated to an unexpected, delightful moment that absolutely made my day. Made my day. As I passed quickly through the deli section and hurried past the wall of baked goodies, I heard a crystal clear, cheerful “HI!” from just behind me. I turned to see this gorgeous blond with a broad, genuine grin. This gorgeous blond was sitting in a grocery cart as she was probably no more than a year and a half old, going the other way, and turning to engage eyes and smiles. Now, I don’t want to sound all mushy and touchy feely about this, but in that instant, this innocent, friendly little soul made my day and lifted my spirits after a long day of diving through people’s minds and troubled psyches.
I visit this grocery store often...I guess you’d call me a “male shopper”...I get what I need and leave, a regular denizen of the express lane or self-pay stands. I pass by folks in the aisles all the time and the great majority of my fellow shoppers offer no hellos or even turns of heads with anything resembling a smile. I had seen this woman and her child earlier and might have even heard her charming chirp at another passerby. But this grin, this face, this greeting hit me like an unexpected pleasant, cool breeze on a dull, muggy day.
I really wish there could be more such moments....with adults. Kids and dogs are far less inhibited than grownups and the world is a far better place with their chirping, smiling, singing, and barking. But, ya know, I’m generally really just fine with a minimum of superficial contact with other humans. Not so with four-legged creatures...I feel I MUST connect! But, being an “I” (introvert) on the Myers-Briggs, I find small talk to be tedious and prefer deeper, more candid interactions. Some of my public personae could fool you....musician, teacher/stand-up comic, etc....seem to contradict that I am truly a private person. I don’t talk much about myself but if asked in a genuine way, I will share my soul with you. Even a bright, shiny smile... so real and generous...is far preferred to any conversations about work or weather.
And so, a client and I were chatting the other day...he too an “I”....and he mentioned his difficulty with the common, small-talk question, “What do you do?” What do I do. Hmmm. I will probably answer, “I’m a psychologist in private practice.” Sometimes I consider livening up the conversation with, “I sleep in a clown suit in the bathtub.” Or maybe “I eat my cereal with tequila instead of milk.” Maybe get a reaction....a look of surprise...a smile. Anything but “I’m a psychologist in private practice” which is such a small part of “what I do.” Well, it is what I do so I can do other things, but it is far from being who I AM.
I don’t sleep in a clown suit or in the bathtub. I love milk on my cereal although my dogs get the last part...a huge sacrifice since who doesn’t love left-over cereal milk? So, I decided to consider what other possible, more honest answers I could give to the question.....
“So....what do you do?”
“Whenever possible, I will put an insect...beetle, moth, fly, ant...even a mosquito...out of the house rather than kill it.”
“I heat my coffee in the microwave even if it has just been brewed.”
“I take off my socks as soon as I can.”
“I watch repeats of House, Friends, The Closer, Frazier, and The Mentalist even though I’ve seen them all multiple times.”
“I always eat sensibly except when I don’t.”
“I did once shoot a man in Reno just to watch him die.”
“I sometimes think about my adopted chimp, Jeff.”
“My golden, Shamus, died in his sleep as I slept. So, now, I tell both Nora and Rusty each night that I’ll always love them.”
“I eat scallops whenever I can.”
“I make gravy out of canned food for my dogs’ kibble.”
“Having spent three years involved with a long-distance, compulsive liar, I always tell the truth.”
“I have been known to flat foot and sing harmonies in my kitchen while playing bluegrass music.”
“I now wear 34 waist Levi’s. Wore 38’s in high school.”
“I swear far more in the car than anywhere else.”
“I wear my gun outside my pants for all the honest world to feel.”
“I get a pedicure now and then. No nail polish but massage feels good.”
“I make better Italian dishes than anyplace I’ve eaten in Maine.”
“I wear my dog Shamus’s tag around my neck most every day.”
“I play Alice’s Restaurant on my guitar but don’t remember the words.”
“I sometimes drink milk with spaghetti and marinara sauce.”
“I write in my dumb blog sometimes....not often.”
