United States of Blame

And so...now there's a family suing Seaworld because their kid witnessed a killer whale...key word "killer"....grab its trainer by her...shall we say ill-conceived?... pony tail and thrash her to death. When the tragedy happened, I was, of course, sad for the young woman and I was also sad for the whale. When a circus elephant goes nuts and tramples someone, usually that elephant is blamed and destroyed. I learned in grade school that elephants are wild animals. Apparently, many people were out sick that day. And so, when a KILLER whale grabs a woman by her dangling hair (which could have looked like a fish...maybe even smelled like one), everyone is surprised and horrified. (Maybe the whale...which we know is pretty damned smart...was saying, "Lady...stop with the goofy stuff...I'm a whale!) Thankfully, the whale was spared his execution (Dead Whale Swimming...coming to a theater near you)...but I still felt sad he was even blamed.

Anyway, some family...some LAWYER...is suing Seaworld because this kid saw the whole thing (and probably filmed it on his little super-expensive cell phone) and, well...just can't sleep. My solution? Feed the kid, the parents and..oh yeah....the lawyer (salt and pepper preferred) to the whale. Let the whales grab them by whatever they have that dangles, and have a big whale party. I'll film it on my "newest gadget that everyone must have."

If, at some point in the future, our country has collapsed and faded like the bloated, self-indulgent Roman Empire did, historians of the future will look back and say that we fell apart underneath the weight of our own narcissism...our own need to BLAME someone for just about everything. Check it out! No one is responsible and it's always someone else's fault! Democrats blame Republicans, Republicans blame Democrats...idiots with coffee-burned crotches blame fast food restaurants...people who choose to stay a hundred freakin' feet from the seawall (they're living in a city that's UNDERWATER!!!! Get back! Okay?) blame the government and...and....storms! Then, we have people sitting with their fried dough watching a killer whale do cute little dances blame...well anyone else...for having to bear the horror of someone elses's death!!! And then there's "rehab"....the modern answer for everything...I'm not really, really a drug-abusing, wife-cheating piece of trash...I'm ILL...and I'll go into rehab and everything will be forgotten. Cheer for me on the 18th green, 'kay?

I've even noticed this phenomenon in my work. The central theme of my treatment is to establish one's responsibility for his/her symptoms and for change. And it's becoming increasingly difficulty to get past the concrete shelter of pervasive narcissism and blame to do so. In working with couples...and parents (don't get me started)...it is always...ALWAYS...the others' faults. So often, kids I see are simply the pimple that is symptomatic of a steady diet of dysfunctional blaming, arguing, yelling and self-indulgence. Wayne Dyer said that victims always operate from a position of weakness...and this is so very true. No individual, no couple, no family stands to move forward until they stop the blaming and start to own. OWN.

But when that weakness is embraced by public sympathy...and the media...and the lawyers...well, we now have a passive, helpless system reinforced by financial gain and rabid attention by a parasitic public.

So...let's see....my dog gets skunked in my back yard. I can blame the skunk. I can find a lawyer to sue the skunk...or the town maybe for not being skunk-proof. Maybe I can find a Republican to blame a Democrat for not leaving the skunk removal to local government. (Hey Sarah! I can see the skunk from my bedroom window!) Or a Democrat to blame a Republican because the skunk isn't on public assistance and is left to fend for himself. The Today show can interview Rusty, Nora and me...maybe even the skunk. We'll sniffle and whimper and cry. 48 hours will do an expose' and maybe the skunks spouse will be suspected as the true culprit.

Listen...I'm sorry this kid had to see such a thing. I wonder how all the other kids who can't afford a lawyer are doing. If they're suffering, they can get help. Help works. But please...please...just because you can't sue a whale, your moby dickhead lawyer will sue Seaworld? Never mind that this family spent its vacation money to SEE a trapped wild animal lusting after a woman with a fish hanging from her head.

I don't blame the skunk. Skunks do what skunks do. I don't blame Rusty. Dogs do what dogs do and he must...he MUST protect his family from wide, black and white cats who have one helluva fart. I blame me. I don't know what I did, but it's my responsibility. It's my house. My yard. My dog. And, for a little while longer, my skunk. And, if I owned a whale, he'd live in the ocean where he belongs.